In other news, parents can also be a source of depression.
Do I sound like a rebel?
Nah… Well your personal opinion.
I’m super thankful to be back, and also thankful that mental
health awareness is growing in Africa (Nigeria especially). With the most
popular being Depression.
To be honest, everyone is going through an issue- yours being
slightly bigger or smaller.
In short, there is a possibility that everyone is actually
depressed. (Yeah, best believe).
From personal experience, depression is more than just
unexplained sadness. To me, it’s a buildup of toxic energy, which results to a
meltdown that “weakens the spirit”.
During a session, while combing through the past for a
trigger/source, we couldn’t help but notice the roles, “parents”
Coming from an African home, there is the pressure and the need
to seek validation from family members/family.
This ranges from, the pressure of success, to marriage, to reputation,
class-(well, the society at large) & some other things.
The demands don’t fall short; expectations heighten at every
achievement and in all of this, nobody asks the most important question,
“Are you happy?” “How do you feel?”
Our present generation may just be plagued with the demerits, of
the evolution of technology- meaning, “the requirement to live or feel
alive or feel among increases dangerously every day.”
Which in turn, paves way for high end channels, of anxiety,
stress & depression.
The other day on twitter, I came across a tweet that highlighted
a topic about the “good use of social media”, and after meditating on
that topic, I can say, I saw the light.
Now, most times, social media influencing, influences us wrongly
(social media isn’t bad but it has its effects). I’m not going to lay blames on
anyone or anything, but I will most certainly talk about the downsides…
Asides, the inner battle to be & become, coupled with the
pressure of home/family, to achieve, represent and provide, Social media is
another avenue to get hit by the pressure.
Imagine scrolling through (well, me for example), and I see my
age mate or someone younger than I am, doing the most, my ego shrinks. I begin
to worry, counting my age and looking at my life plan, thinking how long I’m
going to overcome.
It’s even worse when you haven’t found a purpose.
Having a positive attitude towards expectations can be very
This is a tricky one- especially coming from a 24year old who
has never been married. Marriage as a whole has its self-redefining aura- which
is mix of tolerance, trust, responsibilities and in some cases, culture shock.
In the past, the only issues were “how fast can you settle
down” (females) & “how good did you settle down” (males).
Well, for the feminists in the building, the Bible said “he, who finds a
wife, finds a good thing”- so permit my words.
Right now, it’s a matter of “how glam can it get”,
“what family” etc.- social media doesn’t help on this, as we have the
likes of Bella Naija and co, steady giving us & raising the bar. (These
pages are not bad- I’m not speaking against them), but what is the good use of
Because of the need to be perceived as class, to belong- a lot
of people plan forever with wrong choices & then abruptly walk
away(divorce)- suffering some high degree of mental/emotional/physical
suffering & in some cases, don’t even make it out alive.
Self-evaluation is important.
Sighs… it’s so hard in this country, like it’s really hard.
To be hardworking in Nigeria, doesn’t exactly pay, in the sense
of “expectation of results”. It is even quite hurtful when you have
the likes of frauds & corporate hoes, doing the most and making you feel
like your effort aren’t good enough. But how about, “not envying the
things we don’t understand” & just focusing on being the better
version of ourselves.
Easier said than done, gratitude & contentment goes a long
way in easing stress.
Don’t get consumed by stress- worry actually only worsens the
Parents also have a role to play in this. I must say, raising a
child isn’t a day’s job- like I have vowed to be with my kids all through their
growing process- important.
A lot of things accumulate into self-esteem & lack of
For starters, your kids shouldn’t fear you but respect you. A
standard African home, trains a child with fear- violence and other irrational
ways of correction and admonishment.
If your kids fear you, they can’t talk to you & when they
can’t talk to you, you can’t be able to guide that child right.
It then pushes the child into the world with no home training-
which he or she either develops a low self-esteem or a superior one (bullies).
In time, the bad feelings that arises from the extremities of
these feelings, trigger and contribute to the stress and anxiety that life on
its own try to trigger.
Pay attention to your kids.
Adults- practice self-love
In my opinion, and through my personal observation, the
more, the awareness on mental health, the better for us and the next
The use of drugs are getting higher, with some countries
legalizing the uses- it only takes time before everyone goes in on it.
The confusion of sexuality & the stigma over it
The need to excel in this modern world, the battle among peers
to be the best.
The need for validation- to be seen addressed & represented-
finding love/friendship in wrong places, thereby absorbing negative energies
and in turn getting depressed (feeling worthless).
Blinded decisions- rushing into marriage and rushing out,
carrying the stigma of “divorcee”, emotionally downtrodden and
wondering if the next would be better.
Not having adequate time & plans for the kids, subjecting
them to the care, characteristics & behavior of a nanny or an aunty/uncle-
rubbing off negative traits on the child, in worse cases, sexual abuse…
It’s a long list of channels, through which we leave ourselves prone & open to things that can trigger and push us into the dark side. Also remember, to check up on someone too, because we all need someone.
May we have the willpower to find the light and maintain it.
Love & Light.