It’s Tiring “Becoming” Nigerian

For the life of me, I can’t go back to bed anymore. Its 4:41a.m. but what troubles me, is more than the nightmare I was just having, it’s more about Nigeria in the news. Nigeria this Nigeria that The most popular, disgusting and most importantly, the most dramatic country of all times I’m still trying to recover from how a Nigerian Immigration officer, “warned” my cousin about me LOL! Just because she had the privilege of a blue passport (Well, I’m now accepting applications for foreigners) Nigeria…again! At first it was SARS and I was mute till it happened to me. Then the elections, I experienced first-hand frustration, just to get my PVC, just to vote and still, people lost their lives for a rigged election. It wasn’t like the presidential candidates were the best cards in the game, but what’s a man to do, when he’s left with the option of “small fire” &”big fire”? Right now, for the life of me, I can no longer “can”. I try my best to stay away from social media, stay away from the news but I’m not a lone soldier, Nigeria is my country and my people, plus I belong to this earth, so I must know, in order to grow right? In every society, the societal friendly arm of the military is, or rather should be The Police, but I guess they have all gone mad again. People get killed for their looks, their freedom of expression and freedom of movement. Women are getting raped in the name of doing a job I’m yet to understand what its mission is. I’m cold, numb but heavily angry. I’m scared I’m anxious I have a sister, I have a brother, I’ve got family and I’ve got me. I’m here also wondering, if my late night runs/walks are wise anymore I’m wondering if going out for drinks with my girls is wise anymore I’m wondering if being Nigerian is safe anymore At this time of the day, my heart is full of thoughts; What is the way forward? How can we break free? Could violence be the answer? Black Magic? Why? Because I’d love to take a F-2000 Assault rifle, and put holes through every animal parading in a uniform as a police man or SARS official. I’d love to crush their trachea while ripping off the flesh and watch blood and life seep away from them. What else would I love to do? Swords For everyone violated, men and women but most especially women, for the ones who they felt so rightly, to use empty water sachets on, as a form of sexual protection. I’d love to slice through, body and soul, send some souls quickly to the devil. I’m angry, scared and numb, that it could be me, it could be my family and nobody deserves to be treated this way. I’m still saying this to my fellow women, if you can; enroll in a self- defense class. If you don’t know who to contact, Call Tough Limited +2347039405293 The country is really in chaos.