Artist: Dennis Mcgill
I like that I now look forward to sharing my thoughts with you every Wednesday, as my mentor will famously say “consistency is key”.
Finding purpose has come to be one of the most interesting thing I’m experiencing as a human being; having to know my strengths, tackle my weaknesses and become naturally mindful of most things I do.
I have chosen the path of wearing the cloak of a creative writer and a mixologist, and therefore, I’ve mentally noted that it’s a career where people would feel entitled to comment, advice and speak about my craft and on a large extent, my private life.
Generally, one can never be flawless or perfect. Don’t misinterpret me wrongly as I’d also like to add that perfection is simply personal reflection. Remember the quickest way to go down the road of wrongful validation, is seeking perfection or being flawless based on external factors.
The best illustration to kick off with would be Cardi B. The singer earned an official follow from me sometime last week, after months of distant observation.
This connects us to the order of the day; The beauty of criticism.
The rise of Cardi has been one that is particularly interesting to me, not just about her unapologetic vulgarity but her unwavering willpower to rise above the countless opinions and still “know” herself.
Asides from the regular day-to-day opinions from friends and acquaintances, I had my first hand hit a few weeks ago.
Now, for a first time author, it felt so unreal to get straight As review till the critics hit me twice in a row, and to be honest, it felt like an actual heartbreak. However, I was able to talk myself out of it, and that makes me feel happy to talk about it with you.
Firstly, people would always have opinions; out of love, based on lack of understanding, out of spite and in some cases, just for the need to “say something”. The important thing to note however, is that none of these opinions really matter, and by that, I simply mean that none of them should be taken to heart or personally.
Secondly, criticism is good. In reference to my points about perfection and being flawless earlier, I say again, that nobody is perfect.
I’m teaching myself to “listen to understand and argue to reach an understanding, because understanding is the bedrock of learning ”
Now, criticism shouldn’t also change or mark you, rather it should teach.
Back to our case study earlier, Cardi tried to “meet up” with the demands of fans and had to close that her happiness was paramount because people will always talk no matter what you do.
Another clear illustration is the saying, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, which if broken down completely, it can be said that beauty doesn’t have a collective/general definition.
So if that concept is generally applied, what do you get?
I’d like to end this however by stating the facts that by all means “haters” are a necessity.
The trick is embracing them without personal or emotional attachment and see it or them as a part of growth and life.
Just as the popular saying that energies are all dependent on how we choose to react, the wise thing to do is rather focus on how we choose to react to criticism, “haters” and most importantly, try to “understand” so we can learn and be better!
Note: I wrote this in love and concern for those depressed out of seeking validation, finding purpose and most especially social media depression.
Nobody can be you like you do and opinions never run dry.
Love & Light!